There are many things I'm thankful for when it comes to my husband, but one that stood out this past weekend, is the security he brings to my life! I don't worry about much, especially when it comes to our financial life. I tend to forget about payday even! I don't ask for much, but now thinking about it, everything I do ask for is always given b/c he figures out a way. Brenton is not someone to give, just b/c I ask, but eventually it is always done. He's not a credit card guy, so it's not put on that to provide a bill in 30 days just to appease me. Nope, not him! He is a cash and go kind of guy at pretty much all cost! Now, mind you, we do have a mortgage and a monthly car payment, but besides that it's pretty much just our utilities that we have to account for each month. I didn't appreciate this about him when we first were married. At that time, I just thought he was a cheapskate! We fought about money, b/c my views were not his and when I wanted something I wanted it now at all costs.....credit card used or not! How selfish was that! Man, I had a lot of growing up to do! I was never taught the value of a dollar! Now, I have worked since I was 13, but I never saved a dime. My parents, are the type they spent to provide the wants for us kids and now grand-kids, not savers! I went without nothing growing up and, as much as, I loved all my name-brand things looking back, that was just a disaster in the making. At 18, I jumped at the first credit card that came my way and when I didn't have cash to buy that cute outfit, I charged it! There was a little time from my senior year to my 1st year of college when Brenton was not in the picture. I broke it off, after 4 years of dating, to spread my wings my senior year and guess what....all hell broke loose! LOL!! It wasn't too long after I graduated that the good Lord brought him back into my life and I found myself engaged at 19, married by 20, and reality hitting me square in the face of the time I was left to my own discretion. Like I said, my parents, never instilled money sense in me. Not that it is their fault or anything, but I just did as I had seen, up to, that point in my life and that was to spend. Brenton taught me a lot in those early years of marriage, but again, I didn't see it that way at the time. I was working full time and going to college, as a married lady, and having things seemed to be the way to show people we were making it. Or, so I thought! We bought our 1st house, after 1 year of marriage and boy, that was pretty cool. We were making it in the grown-up world and that felt pretty cool! However, behind closed doors, we had debt adding up and the problems were starting between us, yet no one on the outside had a clue! At that time, Brenton had been working the weekends (b/c he wanted to get some extra cash since we were just starting out) and, as much as, that helped financially, I didn't like it. I mean EVERY weekend...that was to be our time to enjoy as a newly married couple. Again, my selfishness at play! I never, ever looked at it from his perspective! I just always thought he was such a cheapskate and doing it on purpose, working 7 days a week, to prove a point to me. I really truly despised it for quite some time! However, he never budged! For him, that sense of security w/ extra money coming in was something he needed & I never once thought of him. Selfish! You see, Brenton is a survivor and that I have learned to embrace over the years! I never understood it, until it was gone!
Brenton truly is my rock! He was there for me every step of the way, when he didn't have to be. His loyalty to me, when he could've been with anybody else, was such an eye opener when we ended our marriage and I was out on my own. I will never forget the moment when I was sitting at my apartment, alone, on a rainy Friday night....my car blew up and needed fixed, my dad needing help, my rent was due, and I had 1 thing of Ramen Noodles in my pantry. That night, with the weight of my world crashing down, through tears I just prayed. Prayed for guidance and answers to my needs, never admitting that being there alone was all my fault in the first place, but I kid you not my phone rang and guess who it was.....yep, it was Brenton! Man, I have goosebumps just typing this right now, LOL! But, yes, that very night he called to invite me to a Jimmy Buffet party and he begged me to come. I hadn't seen him for several months, at that point, so his call was truly a surprise or, better yet, an answer to my prayer! ☺
That night our relationship blossomed again! I never imagined him back in my life, but how weird it was that I prayed and then this! Sitting across from him at a table w/ friends surrounding us, yet it was like we were the only ones in the room. I never seen him that way before. I mean truly, it was so weird! I saw him differently and his smile was enough to tell me things were going to be ok! Really God....ok, I hear you! LOL!! From that night, we never parted again. We kept it secret for quite some time, but once we knew it didn't matter what people thought, we made it known and eventually he moved into my apartment. I mean honest to God, I never in a million years could've pictured what was happening at that moment. He saved me! He truly saved me! Paid for my car to be fixed, paid my rent, and yep, he filled my pantry so that I had food to eat! I learned so much during that period of my life and man was it powerful when I began truly loving him as an adult! Not the teenage kind of love I had known already, but a mature kind of love and it sure was powerful! I saw him differently! I loved him differently! I embraced his values differently! And, yes, I learned to appreciate his sense of money differently! The funny part, he still had that dang weekend job at the County Club even still, but yes, I embraced that differently too. I could see how happy it made him. Working 7 days, never phased him, and I saw it now. I finally saw it through his eyes! It wasn't that he actually liked, per say, getting up and working 7 days a week, but it was the security of knowing, on any given day, he had money set aside for whatever was needed. It wasn't spent on frivolous things, but saved for those rainy days! I got it! I finally understood and the best thing, he was back on my side willing and able to make life easier for me! He never lost track of his goals and I got a second chance at life with this guy! Hallelujah! By the next January, it was now 2006, it was a new year and a fresh new start! We found ourselves buying another home together and by May, we remarried, as well. WOW!!! What a ride it has been, LOL!
Fast forward, to last weekend, it is now March 2019 and that hubby of mine started his 20th golf season at the County Club! 20 years....WOW!! I never thought it would last more than a couple of years, but here we sit 20 years in. It's not something I wanted to continue, but taking out all of my selfishness and embracing his need of security, it makes me smile to know that he does this for our family! Like I said, I don't worry about much! I've never had to and it's definitely thanks to him. It's funny now to see that our son, is walking in his footsteps! Ethan, has found a love for working with his dad on the weekends. I'm not sure who enjoys it more though, b/c Brenton beams with pride having his son there to show him the ropes and Ethan, loves working w/ daddy and doing things like picking up sticks or emptying the trash, since he's not officially able to work, just to be with daddy & learn how to work! His work ethic at 12, is pretty cool to see! The bond, this weekend gig, has created for these two is really awesome to see and priceless! Furthermore, what Brenton is instilling in our son, is something that will take him so much further in his life and that is pretty fantastic! ☺
It took me a bit! I had to learn how to let go of my selfish ways, so I could see life from another's perspective. But, by the grace of God, I was given an opportunity to turn my life around with the same person, whom I thought was hindering me, only to come out on the other side to see he had my back all along! What a great life its been, too! I have no idea where I'd be right now, but thanks be to God for answering a prayer that rainy Friday night and opening my eyes to embrace a different view, so that I never had to find out! ♥
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| 2019 1st weekend back & 20th anniversary for Brenton |
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| Happiest boy I know...he loves working |
