Made It!

It's mid-July, as I sit on my back porch typing this and realizing how, yet again, another summer is flying by! Craziness! I'm not much of a summer girl, to be honest, but the older I'm getting I'm learning to take each season and embrace it. I've learned, so far in my 46 years of life, that it's ok to not necessarily like the heat, just like it's ok to not like the dead of winter and snow up to my ears. However, just like in the winter when I don't put on my snow boots to go outside much, I don't always put my swimsuit on to go sit by the pool on a hot summer day and guess what...it's ok! On those particularly not so pleasant days, no matter the season, I still do enjoy them looking out my window, in my temperature controlled house, usually with a cup of coffee in hand. LOL! Yep, that's ok, too! I've learned that each season brings a calmness to my soul and something that I need at that given moment.....slowing down! I've never really been the best at that and when you are forced to, you realize how in control you really are! Letting go and letting God, is my life mantra and wow, has it changed my life! I'm a different person now and 10 years in w/ Joyce Meyer helping me expand on my walk w/ Christ, I've truly learned how to enjoy my very ordinary, everyday life just the way I like it! I'm a simple girl and it feels good to be confident in my skin at this stage in my life! 

Life has been a tad nuts and frankly, it has turned my mood a bit this summer. I'm usually on it and have things planned and goals, etc....however, not so much this summer! I've deemed this summer as a "lazy" one and embracing it. Not sure it's what I truly want, but it's what is happening and I'm going with it. School is right around the corner and guess what, I'm not pushing a whole heck of a lot w/ Colin. Instead, we have been taking the days where they take us and if things get done they do and if not, they don't. Guess what.....that's ok, too! LOL! 

After graduation, probably more after Ethan's party, it was a huge relief that I have yet to come out of that feeling. You know that feeling after spring cleaning your house when everything is clean, it smells good, but you dreaded doing it and after all the hard work you throw yourself on your couch with a glass of wine, smiling, thinking how glad you are it's done as you look around the house.....yeah, that feeling! Throwing a graduation party, even as simple as ours was, is exhausting! I tried so hard to sell Ethan on taking the money and not having one, honestly, I was so wanting him to do that; however, he wanted the party and so, my party planning hat got put on! For my boy, I followed the checklist, did everything we needed to do, got things ordered when they needed ordered and down to the minute of coordinating food pickup on party day, guess what....I'm so glad we had it for him! SO GLAD!!! Even though, the day turned out to be so dang windy that I couldn't do all the decorating I wanted and what I had in mind had to be deviated from, because the wind would blow it all over the place, it turned out to be a great day! Letting go and letting God, right! Truly, it came into play that day! My nerves were eventually calmed that morning, after a quick come to Jesus meeting and picking up the dang tablecloths for the 20th time, I realized I needed him to calm the wind! Well, guess what.....he didn't do what I wanted him to, instead I did what he wanted me to and that was to make the most of the moment. Be ok with what things would be! So, the banner didn't get hung on the pole or all the tables didn't have a table cover, BUT with a little tape all the pictures stayed, the food was good, and Ethan was happy! A tense morning that turned into a beautiful afternoon, for one deserving kid, who enjoyed all the love he got on his special day! For that, I'm so glad we had the party! It was worth all the planning, that I didn't want to do (LOL), to see the smile that the party brought to Ethan was well worth it. I'm so so glad it turned out so well! Anyway, we made it through graduation week, vacation to the mountains, starting big-boy work and now, here I am taking in what is left of summer embracing another heat-filled day, realizing that we made it! What a great feeling! Getting this child into adulthood....what an accomplishment! What a difference a year makes! ❤️

Unique, yet Joyful

This week, we reached another milestone at our house! Oh boy, Colin turned 16! 16....WHAT! Yes, his looked a little different, seeing we're not shopping for cars and getting a drivers license, instead his excitement came from receiving Funyuns, stretchy bands, and eating a powdered doughnut cake. Nonetheless, it was a great moment on our journey! This child has taught us so much and nowadays with RFK Jr setting dates on releasing answers to all this autism epidemic stuff, Colin's birthday reminded me that for us, no matter what comes out, our life remains the same.  So, we continue to celebrate uniquely and we embrace the milestones knowing though different, still joyful! Oh, what a great life we've been blessed with! This boy of mine has given me so much meaning and added a purpose to my life. I know God didn't do this to Colin, but I do know that he's given me beauty for the ash! So, it feels pretty darn good to know we've conquered the hard when he was little and with this birthday we enjoyed the easy, breezy fun a birthday has to offer. What a blessing! I loved every ounce of the celebration and seeing Colin's smile was the icing on the cake.....or, for us, the powder on the doughnut, lol! 

Unscathed

So, it's been a bit since I've posted, but for some reason I got the urge to get back to blogging? I don't know I've kind of missed it and I just want to make sure to keep the memories going for my boys, so here we go again on trying to keep this thing up, lol. 

Anyway, right now at the Shroyer house we are planning a graduation for Ethan, who turned 18 this year, and also Mr. Colin is turning 16 tomorrow! I can't even express the feelings, a bittersweet thing I guess, because I truly am enjoying this stage, but wow....it sure does go fast! I keep remembering the nurse in my hospital room when I had Ethan telling me to enjoy it, because before I know it he'll be 10.....well, he's 18 now, and she was 100% right...it went so fast! Being a mom has truly been the best and the one thing I can say I gave all of myself to. So much so, that I lost myself there for a bit! However, what a blessing it's been raising these boys! I was just telling Brenton last night that we've finally reached the point where the pressure is off, because graduation is here! I'm not sure about anybody else, but for me, all the school stuff is pressure....sports, academics, friends, etc.....it's all just pressure! For us though, it was about 3rd grade when we had to make a decision to step away from all the "normal" things that kids were "supposed" to be doing and allow a little voice to be our guide! Essentially, entering into our own pressure cooker that we were creating for ourselves, since the path we were taking wasn't the path that would lead to popular status! You don't get a manual with this parenting thing, but at that point the one thing I did know is I couldn't push a square into a round hole! We tried everything and nothing seemed to stick, until we released the pressure cooker and allowed Ethan to be what he wanted to be. Yes, I do feel we didn't do everything right and maybe hurt in some areas, but in other ways, it gave us the ability to stay out of all the chaos that comes when you do allow the pressure of all the extra stuff to take the wheel of life!  The positive that came out of all of that, is that little boy has grown into a God-fearing young man and is choosing to live a life filled with Christ and serving him. So, I guess we didn't do all that bad in raising this child, lol! What a great young man....I love knowing that E has used all the life lessons that didn't necessarily work out for him in the traditional sense, but rather has learned to be grateful and to look ahead to what is in-store by trusting the plan that has been laid out for him! Life is funny and can be pretty hard at times, but we all got through unscathed thus far and I can honestly say I'm looking forward to the next season that is ahead of us all! So....here we go! ❤