Ready or Not....Here we GO!!!!

     I can't even begin to tell you how much these words are driving me crazy this year.....back-to-school!!!!  Oh my, I've been an emotional mess for like 3 weeks now.....Why?  I really have no idea, because I know everything is going to work out and be fine, but I'm on overload at the moment w/ all these "new" things going on in our life!!!!  My main concern, is going directly to Colin.....I know he's going to be fine, but man, I'm so anxious about this whole transition with him.  I know he needs the structure, the educational step forward, and getting away from me; however, it doesn't make it any easier!  I know I have to learn to relax with him and I think that's why I'm finally ready to make the next step.....I've struggled so much with the "label" but I'm realizing the world isn't as friendly as I hoped it would be!!! I'm still so confused with things, so probably another reason why we are ready for this next step?!?!  I've been reading a lot lately and John Elder Robison & Temple Grandin are helping me come to a few conclusions, so my lists are starting, again (haha)!!!  When we are in our element, our own world, things are fine....it's the moment we take that step out the front door that I see people really don't understand!  Well, let me just tell ya....this mama is about to change that!  I've always had a problem with my mouth, choosing battles better as I get older, but I promise you one thing nobody will make this little guy, my little guy, feel inadequate b/c of his differences!  Aren't we all a tad different, have our own quirks, and our own likes???  So, that's where my anxiety has been these past few weeks, trying to make sure I have every duck in the row properly for him; however, I'm also realizing as hard as the world is, I can't possibly do it all!  It's going to be hard, but I will do my best to make sure the path isn't so bumpy!!!!  Truly, I've been driving myself to tears trying my hardest to do so, but, I find the best thing I can do....is pray!  Ethan had to learn a very hard lesson a few weeks ago when a negative comment was made about his brother, so I think that's when it all hit me and through a few tears with him about it we concluded that it's just because people don't understand and Ethan concluded that being a big "protective" brother is what he needs to be....there's no doubt in my mind that he will fulfill that role very well!  Ethan, as hurt as he was, realized that in situations like that being the "big" brother, is A-OK!!!  Valuable lesson learned!!!! ;)
     Another concern, is Ethan and starting his new school, riding a school bus, making new friends, and being able to grow to be where he needs to be for 1st grade.  I've tried this summer to keep him focused, but I've learned that curriculum's are changing, so I've had to change my plan and honestly I heard these words "let them be little" and I really pondered it!!!  So, strict mommy is letting go of the reigns a bit and we will just work hard when school gets here!!! Just stinks that life is coming and going so quickly....makes me sad, but on the other hand....life is getting easier, too!!!  I guess overall, it's just a bittersweet thing going on with me and knowing that things are out of my control with both boys now with certain things and having to "trust" people that I truly don't know....UGH!!! It's a step I knew was coming, but maybe not ready for?  Either way, it's happening, so ready or not here we go....LOL!!!
     My final thought, is for Brenton.....My husband, is a wonderful provider, husband, and daddy!  He doesn't take those responsibilities lightly, either!  He works hard, doing 2 jobs for us and yet, comes home to sometimes a "bitchy" wife ready to explode and he handles it all with grace!  This past week, his hard work paid off and he got noticed at his primary job....beat out 14 guys for a new position and now his training begins.  I sure love that man and everything he does.....honestly, he makes my life easy, so why am I so weird lately is way beyond me, but I thank God every day he's mine!!!! =)
     So, there you have it folks....my house is doing well....my boys are great, Katee is good...she had an awesome yearly check-up & got her shots....it's me, who's losing it!! HAHAHA!!  No, truly I'm fine, figuring things out and continuing to move forward.....Can't say I'm ready for everything, but I'm hanging on and riding the roller coaster without puking....NOW, that is what I call an accomplishment (haha)!! =)

and...our life continues!!!!

We had a great weekend!  Brenton's family from Boston are in town, so we got to spend time with them and also, Ethan and Colin got to meet their cousin from over there..Cole.  Ethan and Cole hit it off Friday evening and spent the night playing football in the backyard at Paul & Kay's.  It was so nice to see them play.  Danielle and I have boys that are both 6, so they sure are buddies now!  Colin, played his little heart out in the backyard, as well!  One moment I will never forget from the boys meeting Cole, is Colin running from the back garden to the deck to grab Cole's hand (whom he just met that night, HUGE for him) and took him back to the garden to show him the solar lights that Paul & Kay have.  Colin, loves those lights that are flowers, butterflies, etc and they light up all different colors.....so, when they popped on, he just had to share his excitement and of all people that he is used to, he chose a completely new person that he had known for only a few hours....WOW!!!  This is huge for him, he's not Mr. Social Butterfly, so to see that was a pretty great feeling.  Anyway, Ethan and Cole got to play again on Saturday at Lake Park in Coshocton with their other cousin's and they all had a fun day.  Colin couldn't go, because he had horse therapy and he had a great session.  I absolutely love seeing the changes in him from this therapy.....I think I tear up each & every week.  I can't even begin to explain it, but he is certainly coming out of a shell that he was in for quite some time.   His therapist is so pleased with him and on Monday he had his 4 year well visit, and Dr. Gigax was pleased, as well.  Now, she did confirm a few things that we already knew we were dealing with, but overall, she was "shocked" to see the improvement from last year till now!!!!  We will go back in 6 months for her to take another look at his progress, so praying we continue to see even more improvements.  Next month, he will start Pre-K and we will continue with equine therapy, so I'm just hoping his speech continues to improve.  As his mother, I'm seeing the little boy in him come out.....the dirt, mud, outside playing little boy that has now escaped and going full force! LOL!!  He's my boy, well both boys are, but Colin has just recently wanted me A LOT more and I have to say, I'm loving every part of it.  ;))))

Ethan is enjoying his summer and it's hard to believe that school will be here next month!!  We have
been working this summer on a review packet and man, I'm so glad we are.  I sure hope 1st grade goes a little smoother, but I guess that will remain to be seen as we live it here shortly....not sure if school will come natural to him or not?  I'm guessing he will have to work for every grade he gets, but we'll get it and as long as he tries his hardest is all we can ask.  Ethan is such a great boy and I pray he continues to work hard!

Speaking of Ethan, yesterday we finally got a small portion of our yard fenced it for the boys to have a play area.  It took longer than we anticipated to be put in, but it was definitely worth the wait.  Ethan, our little worker, loved everything about watching these guys put that fence in.  I walked inside for a minute to get a few things and turned around to see Ethan bolting to his room....then I hear "Mommy, how to you write thank you" and I turned around to help him and saw him writing on a piece of paper.  He then proceeds to tell me that he has to give the "fence workers" a "thank you" note, because he has waited a long time to put his pool up. LOL!  Needless to say, the fence workers enjoyed him and his note. I tell ya, that boy melts my heart and his heart is so big!!!  Anyway, it is so nice to be able to let the boys out to play now knowing they are just fine.  Even Katee loves it, let me tell you, it is so nice to open the door and let her out. =)  Out of everything we have bought for this house, that fence, was the best purchase and now we can finish the front and back porches....YAY!!!

Come on Mother Nature...Enough!!!

What in the world is up with this weather these days???  Holy cow, this is craziness!!!  Rain, more rain, thunderstorms, and tornado's can all be done for a very long time!!!  We got to, yet again, experience a power outage for 28 hours and even though it truly wasn't a big deal, it still is just a fricken nightmare having to pack up your food, kids, make arrangements for dinner, etc.  I kid you not, we've had something every year, since Colin's birth in 2009!  By far, the week outage after the tornado passed through that following year, was the worst we've experienced to date and you'd think we would've been prepared for each and every time after that....NOPE!  Well, when it happens again, we will....Our new house, the guy who redid it, actually wired the garage to be capable of running a generator to keep the house running in times like this...SO, we will be getting one =)  Brenton is finally on board, after a first reaction of sticker shock, but like I told him.....we don't complain when we pay our insurance payment each month, b/c we know in times of need, it's there and you know what, our new generator will be treated like another "insurance" need.  =)  Not trying to be a diva, but seriously, when you have kids involved it's a responsible thing to be able to take care of them even in power outages!  I realize the intrusion it feels when you have to ask to use the stove, or washer, keep our food, or charge our phones.....even though, NOBODY made us feel nothing but welcome, I just want to be prepared next time.  So, we are shopping for a generator..LOL!!  For the past 2 days, we've been enjoying my sister's house w/ her family chit chatting, watching the kids play, enjoying a few beers on her porch, and eating good food!  My sister, Amanda, got the cooking gene....she always has a meal cooked for her family, HOMEMADE meal mind you, and the table set for them to sit.  I've always admired that about her and something I'm trying to bring into our home.  Now, I'll be the first to admit, I'm not a great cook!  I try and I'm not afraid to try a recipe, but I'm not 100% comfortable in the kitchen, YET!!!  My husband, loves to cook, so he has taken over the kitchen and honestly, I don't mind.  I'm the sous chef and he's the Chef....for us, it works!  =)  I'm happy to say though, since we've moved to Gnaden, we have not eaten out at a fast food restaurant in some time.....in Phila, it was convenient, so we did eat out ALOT!!!  Not happy about that, but it's the truth....so, now, we are really getting into having things at home and that makes this mama very happy!!!  The past few days has had Ethan out of whack....he has created songs about "hating the rain", "where's the sun", and not having electric really put him out!!  He cried and just didn't quite understand why when the light switch went up, the light didn't come on.  Our conversations over the past couple of days have been pretty interesting, to say the least!  Colin on the other hand, has loved it!  The one you'd think would be going nuts, didn't one bit....he went right along w/ everything and we've come to the conclusion that one day, he's going to be a storm chaser!  That kid absolutely loves to sit on the front porch to watch the storms, listen to the rain, and watch the trees blow back and forth!  He has really been amazing these days!!!  The one that I keep hearing should love routine, doesn't!  The one that should be having tantrums b/c his daily schedule is messed up, isn't!  Now, does he like to watch things, figure them out, and watch how they work....YEP!  Very, very curious that one and I'm enjoying watching the "should be's" not pertain to him!!!  Typical, maybe not, but truly who is?  That box everyone keeps trying to put him in, he breaks out of it, and that I love!  Good for you Colin....Daddy and Mommy will continue to push your differences, Ethan will be right there with you supporting you or trying to get you to stop (LOL), but press on my baby boy....the world is your oyster!!!  Ok, Ok I got off on a tangent...sorry!!  Long story short, after 28 hours of no power....it finally came on last night about 9:30ish!  It was really nice to sleep in a nice, cool house....not everyone down there has power, including my sister 1 street over, but I must say Gnaden knows how to roll with the punches....our little community, in the sticks, sure did surprise me these past 2 days and I'm so thankful we are now apart of it!!!
 

his spot when it storms

she is a mess when it storms....here, she was shaking!!!

tired of hearing Ethan sing about the weather, so....

we found a much quieter place

after 28 hours....we HAVE light!!! 

Red, White, and Blue!!!!

What a weekend we had this year celebrating the 4th with family at our new home!  It was a nice, long weekend, thanks to my boss who surprised me with Friday off, and we enjoyed every ounce of it!!!  We have slowly been working on the house and last night I found a lot more decorations, so Brenton and I spent a couple of hours decorating and I finally got the "dreaded" closet's done, as well....now, my mission....CURTAINS!!!  Anyway, so we spent the weekend doing a little bit every day and it's really coming together!!!  Not sure why, but this weekend, all we kept saying to each other is "it's just so different down here" we all for some reason "feel different" and it seems that little piece of something that was missing before, is no longer!  This weekend gave us a sense of community, too!!  It was so neat to watch all the folks, young and old, open their front doors, take their chairs to take a seat at what I assumed was "their" spot to watch the annual town parade.  As I looked around on Saturday, I noticed the older folks and realized that they have probably been watching this very parade for many years, I kept imagining all the different things they probably have seen over the years?! Not sure why, but I have been feeling pretty nostalgic lately....then my eyes went to my little guys as we heard the sirens coming down the street and I wondered, would that be Brenton and I one day when our boys are grown & have families of their own??  Man, I sure hope so.....I pray life stays simple here, for the most part, and I pray that we continue to enjoy every moment we can while our boys grow!  The simplicity of a simple sparkler and what enjoyment that brings, the simplicity of walking over the bridge to my sister-in-law's to watch the fireworks from her back yard, the simplicity of the grill cooking hot dogs to feed our families, the simplicity of red, white, and blue glow sticks and the fun they bring, the simplicity of conversation with new friends, the simplicity of the front porch swing as we watch the cars drive by heading home from festival, or the simplicity of hearing Ethan say "Mommy, I love you" as we watched the booms in the sky, and the simplicity of hearing Colin say "Wow" as he watched the sky light up with beautiful colors, is exactly the life Brenton and I have wanted for quite some time and like I said, I'm not sure why, but things are different here?! It's like we are living our own version of Doc Hollywood and live in a small town like Grady. LOL!!! =)  This year we really enjoyed the 4th and as I was putting all my festive decorations away yesterday, I couldn't help but think about next year...but until then, we will continue to enjoy each moment here and make memories while doing so!  Hope you all enjoyed your 4th of July...here are a few pics from our fun weekend!!!

Happy 4th of July

cousin sleepover

catching a ride to the parade

having a snack while we wait

having fun w/ his Grandpa's

well, we tried for a family pic...Colin, had other things in mind

♥

Lynnsey caught his favorite for him

he found Logan....

and Uncle Joe

and I figured the sirens would bother him....NOPE, he loved it!!!

tuckered out from a long afternoon...3 1/2 hour nap

came outside to find a rainbow

"Red" Power Ranger right here waiting for the fireworks

having fun w/ sparklers after the fireworks

ended the long weekend with a few movies