Yep, I have been the past few weeks! You know that "rut" when you feel yourself going through the motions of life and you know you are getting things done, but it's like you're in robot mode or something? Yeah, that has been me....a robot! I think the winter blues hit me! UGH!!! However, I did hear birds chirping, so I know spring is almost here and thank the good Lord!!
As the world was spinning and I was trying to stay a float, life continued! It was good and I do remember it, but looking back it just felt weird for me. The funny thing, it's always the 3rd semester of school that gets me, too! For us, this semester is always the hardest and LONGEST it seems! Man, so many things to do and always redundant...read, study, practice, test, work on project, read, study, practice, test, work on project and oh yeah, fit in the fact that we still do have "kids" that need time to breath! Its just been EXHAUSTING!!!!
Ethan, especially, needs that break from school and he wanted to try something new this winter! He has talked about Tai Kwon Do (TKD) for months and I knew he needed "something" right now! He needed an activity that 1) he knew nothing about 2) challenged him 3) gave him something to look forward to and 4) help build his confidence. Unfortunately, we had no clue if he would like it or even what to expect, because Brenton and I know nothing about TKD. The one thing we did know, is we had to give him the opportunity to atleast try it. I was almost afraid to ask how he liked it, but thank goodness I didn't even have to, because he was so excited to tell me that he LOVED it! It was so sweet to see the smile on his face, too. He loved it so much that he achieved his first belt on Day 2! Ethan received his white belt last Thursday. Now, here's the funny part....He had to memorize 9 "polite" words, 4 sentences, and then stand up in front of everybody to present them to his instructor. HE DID IT! Ethan had that sheet memorized in 1 day! However, as his mother I'm allowed to say this, I was a little frazzled because we've been working on "memorizing" multiplication facts for months and he had that sheet memorized in 1 day...REALLY, lol!!! Oh well, he needed this boost of confidence and I was so excited for him. When I saw the smile on his face when he presented me with his belt, I knew TKD was an answer to a prayer. This is something that is his, ALL his and nobody else can take it away from him.
It turns out, as a mother and the many seasons you face with your children, it's ok to have the feelings I've had the past few weeks. I can honestly say that my life, right now, is about my boys! I'm not the girl that I was...the one that worried about clothes, or being skinny, or making sure to have the perfect necklace to match the outfit that I was wearing. Nope, that's not me anymore! These days, I'm lucky to get out of sweatpants and have my hair done. hahaha! I'm not complaining, all I'm saying, is I'm in the season of life that my boys need more of my time than I can give myself right now. I love being a mother! Every bone in my body loves it and I love that I have the opportunity to be here for my kids, as much as, I am! The day will come where I won't be needed, so I'm soaking all this up and during moments, like the past couple weeks, I drink more coffee, have hot tea, drink a few beers, take bubble baths, and I even got my nails done. I might not be the girl that used to have it all together from my hair down to my toes these days, but I can promise you I'm still here. These days though, the girl that stares back at me in the mirror is "fluffier" than she used to be, has tired eyes most of the time, hair pulled back, and in "all natural" mode 99% of the time; however, is so much happier! I love the person that my boys have helped me grow into! I'm a better version of myself! So, yes, I've been in a rut, but I never lost the truth of my reality during the past few weeks. You see truth is, the good Lord has been good to me and I thank him everyday for giving me this life that I'm so blessed to be living...ruts and all!☺
Until next time!
♥
Melinda
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