Maturity Wins!

For the past week or so, I've been struggling!  Struggling with information that I know, but can't say and what to do with it? Its bogged me down so much that I truly have stepped back into my shell and have no desire to be social right now!  Fake people are real and walking amongst the crowd that I have to associate with in this small town.  I'm not good with that and I'm realizing it more and more with each passing day.  These people hide behind their social media accounts and create this life that seems so perfect, yet once the camera is put away they are so not what they post and it makes me sick!  Why can't people be real? Why do these people always seem to come out smelling like a rose, too?  I will never understand!  However, thanks to the good book, I'm realizing I'm not supposed to. Discernment, is God's way of telling me to stay clear and stay in my lane. I'm being protected and for that, I'm thankful! I'm listening, lol! It's easier for me to stay in my comfort zone and thank goodness my hubby, is truly the 1 person, that I love to be around.  He understands me and grounds me!  I'm thankful he listens and allows me to be upset, frustrated, annoyed, yet always seems to help me find the bright side!  I love this man!  I'm so blessed that God chose him for me, because he's true and real!  I never have to worry about him saying one thing and then turning around to do another!  Cheating, no way! He's a loyal man and has morals...he's mine and I'm grateful for him!  Thanks to him, this situation will pass and when it does, he'll be right there reminding me how blessed we are.  We don't have a lot, but what we do have we work hard for! Our boys, another blessing in my life, are the cherries on top of our cake!  They give us a purpose to strive for greatness!  That greatness, is certainly not perfection, but it's ours and is what we feel that to be.  Our family, is our #1 concern and these boys have solidified our life together!  I love this life I get to live!  I know "situations" will always be and I have to deal with people that disgust me, but thank goodness for my faith and the good Lord above, because I'm constantly reminded that those "fake people" are exactly that FAKE...but, I learn so much from them! They help me to grow stronger with the folks that mean the most to me and never take them for granted, that's for sure!  Just like that old saying from when I was kid, "You can learn a lot from a dummy" still remains to be true even in my adulthood!  Anyway, I have to deal with these emotions, but for someone like me it's tough having to subside them. I tend to be more vocal, but speaking them certainly would not be good and I know that.  So, my maturity wins and I'm choosing silence! I smile, because I know that I have a loud mind and could crush things with the truth; however, I know where my power is and for that I thank God and will just ride the wave!☺

Our World

#mytruth

11th Birthday Celebration

Ethan turned 11 years old yesterday! How in the world does this happen...lol!  Honestly, the years are flying by.  I specifically remember I was told, when he was born, time will fly so embrace every moment.  At that time, 11 years seemed so far away and I remember nodding knowing I heard the words, but thinking that is so far away!  Well, now we're here!

Birthdays are a big deal at our house and even though we don't have big birthday parties, we do have several celebration's that go over several days! This year was no different & Ethan's celebration started last Friday, went into the weekend, and ended last night w/ dinner at Tlaquepaque. Ethan asked for such expensive gifts that we decided to use most of his birthday budget on those, but we told him he could invite 3 friends and we'd go wherever he wanted on Saturday, so he chose his friends, picked to jump at SkyMax, and then lunch at Steak-n-Shake. We then had my family celebration on Sunday at my parents house, which was again Ethan's request.  He wanted a "party at Grandma's with his family like we used to" and so my parents made that happen.  Finally, he loves mexican, so we felt it would be fun to celebrate w/ Brenton's side last night to finalize the celebration weekend. It was really fun and he was in heaven!! ☻ 

 

Off we go

Ready to rock this joint

Having fun

I'm king of the world...lol

Can't take him anywhere...saw a OSU Buckeye (Beanie Wells) so had to say Hi

Lunch Time

Birthday Milkshake (M&M)

Birthday celebration at G&G Bardall's

Gift Time

School treats (he asked for brownies)

Birthday Boy

Ready to head off to school

Birthday dinner = Senor Ethan

Blessed For Sure!

Well, parent/teacher conferences happened last night!  This time, it was only Colin that was requested to have one. Truthfully, I like going to his.  I love seeing his progression and where he's at in these moments.  I mean, we were told the boy would never speak and last night I learned he knows 113 sight words!  WHAT!!  I know, I know...I've learned to not focus on the negative, but it sure is nice to be 4 years post-diagnosis and witness this boy of mine moving mountains and proving all those medical professionals wrong! Go Colin!! I even learned that he's been attending ALL the assemblies this year...again WHAT? How awesome is that! HUGE, that's huge!! Colin, enjoys school and I never have an issue with getting him there.  He wakes up in the morning and knows what he has to do. These past couple of years have really been a huge leap in his growth.  I know it's because he has a great teacher and one that pushes him.  She knows just how much to push, yet does it in the most loving way.  He's safe with her and I know that is helping with his academic growth.  Overall, last night, I was told he is doing "great with his academics" and that his personality is an awesome trait, because the kids really flock to him.  From a mother with a child on the spectrum, you thank God everyday for reports like that.  I know I've been blessed with this child and I don't take it for granted.  I see other parents who deal with much worse, so I get it!  This sweet, boy of mine who I have been blessed to raise is certainly giving me so much to be thankful for! With each new day and each small milestone reached, I look up and thank God for letting me be his mom! ♥

Non-Traditional....I'll take it!

I'm sure I'm not the only "work from home" mom that has questioned herself and her abilities...am I? I look around and see all these other moms with full-time careers that juggle kids, extracurricular activities, husbands, families, friends, etc and I wonder, "how do they do it?" I have no clue and the more I try to add to my plate, to be one of "those" moms, I realize instantly that it's not the life I want to live. I can't do it and the older I get, I'm embracing the peaceful life I get to have.  Brenton and I worked hard to get to this point!  Yes, there used to be a time where we were working to afford a life that we disliked, but something happened 5 years ago that helped us to see all the things we were missing. The goal I had for our life was to SIMPLIFY! A word that became our motto when we put our house on the market, bought another in Gnaden, and began the journey to the way we wanted our lives to go from that moment on!  A life we had to learn to embrace, because we were finding that when we simplified things we quickly became aware that our kids were not sports enthusiast!  So, that really simplified things for us!  Not running all over, WHAT?  How do we do this?  Now, imagine a father with a love for football that has 2 boys and neither play...WHAT? LOL!!  Truly, that took some time to figure out.  We've ran the gamut on sports!  We've introduced everything football, baseball, wrestling, tae-kwon-do, basketball but for our Ethan, non of those seemed to excite him.  However, one that has stood out to him is the game of golf!  His daddy introduced him to golf about 3 years ago and they even "work" together out at the CC during the golf season and Ethan is in heaven. This boy is going to do great things!  Ethan, is our kind-hearted boy.  He loves to help people and has recently found that working in a soup kitchen was what he was needing to feel fulfilled.  Serving others is something he's been asking us for since the 3rd grade and we finally found the perfect fit! Colin, is our energetic, free-spirted boy.  Colin has found a love for soccer, thanks to his teacher and her son.  We know nothing about that sport, but watching this boy grow and learn has truly been a blessing.  Colin, has been the one that truly I can thank for opening our eyes to another way of life.  He's shown us how to "step out of the box" and embrace being different.  Thanks to him, our family of 4, has become a tight knit clan and we don't like to do many things without one another.  We are homebodies, but I'm probably the worst with that.  I love being home!  I'd much rather be home in my sweatpants than being out and about.  Thank goodness my husband totally gets me, because his personality is actually being a social butterfly.  However, the two of us, make it work and learning to embrace each others need has been quite fun.  Our life is all about "Family First" and that will forever be. We have learned that 1 or 2 times a month is perfect for us to get out with friends.  It's great to be married to my best friend, because I never long for nights with girlfriends or such.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being with friends and every so often enjoy a night with them, but if I'm planning a night out it's never without my #1....ever! When we moved here, life changed for the better! The rat race stopped and living began!  Our time is valuable and yesterday when I was doing my bible study in Proverbs, it was even there in black and white, stating the importance of family time!  I chuckled and looked over at Brenton to reread the scripture, it stood out to me that much! It was so rewarding to know that even though our chosen life, that is non-traditional these days, is not filled w/ non stop running, sports, friends, etc and probably looks really odd to most, but is filled with our little family of 4 and is exactly the way God intended it to be.  Now, THAT, really has given me a new perspective and one that I will never take for granted.  The one thing I've come to realize is that my "career" was never intended to be about a big paycheck, but rather about being a wife and mother! I love that! I was meant to be a wife and mother! The value of a simplified life has sure paid off in dividends and maybe not with lots of cash in the bank, but rather with endless hugs from boys anxiously getting home from school, to their tired mother with no makeup on and in the same sweatpants she had on when they left earlier that morning.  Yeah, it's true.....I'm no longer that girl that is worried about being a size 8, having awesome clothes, a huge career, or being in the know AND I'm so thankful for it.  I love this life I've been blessed to live and I thank God everyday for opening my eyes to show me what truly matters most!

Soup kitchen busboy

Our Soccer Star

ready to go

A Sabbatical!

So, I have been doing ALOT of thinking and when my brain gets going....watch out! LOL! I overthink way too much, but eventually work myself back around and it's all good. LOL!  I don't know, but people are bugging me and situations around me are bugging me that I have chosen to truly go off the grid for a bit.  I have found that being home w/ my guys and Katee, is truly where I want to be. I guess, in the sense, I'm hiding in the comfort of my own home and using this time to take a step back.  I have a love/hate relationship with social media!  I've been off of Facebook for 5 years now and have NOT missed that since. However, in that time, I found Instagram and I love it....BUT have found that I have spent way too much time on this platform, too.  It was to the point that my phone was constantly in my hand and taking pictures to share, but truly missing the moment I was in just to capture it, so I could share instantly on IG. I love sharing my life, my boys, our adventures, and our boring life pictures, but I found I was sharing too much.  I literally, one Sunday morning, scrolled through my history and realized it! That very day, I said a prayer and now on a sabbatical! LOL!!  I took it off my phone and haven't been on since.  How long?  I'm not sure?  All I know, I'm feeling pretty good right now taking a break! 

Anyway, last week was Valentine's day and the boys had their class parties on Thursday.  Ethan, made us aware that he is in 5th grade now and "it's just different this year" so he didn't want a big, elaborate box or cards.  Can I tell you how sad I instantly became, lol!  I never showed the emotion, but it hit me that it's happening....he's growing up!  Colin, we did a soccer box for him and the whole nine yards.  It was fun to make and we enjoyed getting him ready.  However, it hit me after I sent my handsome boys off to school all dressed up in red, carrying their boxes, and ready to party that I NEVER took pictures of them that morning.  Are you kidding me!  I never not take pictures!!  I panicked for a minute, but then I knew I could get after school. (thanks to Colin's sweet teacher, she took one for me during the day). You know though, I thought about it all day and I realized, we had so much fun that morning...no rushing around! We talked, prayed, ate breakfast and I never even thought about a picture.This is what has happened since my sabbatical....I'm living the moment and boy does that feel good!  I'll be back Instagram, don't worry for it's not you, it's me!! LOL! I'm hoping to get back into this blog, too! I absolutely love this means of keeping memories for my boys, so check back! ❤

Here's a few pics from our life recently:

5th grade Valentine box ☺

2nd grade Valentine party, here he comes

birthday party w/ friends

had to get outside, it was so nice to breath fresh air