Life's Lessons

As I sit here this morning with my boys watching movies, many things are running through my mind.....it comes to my realization, yet again, that these 2 little blessing's sure do make life fun!!  Let me rewind life to 2 weeks ago, a point in time that we were faced with something that we thought, "well, maybe".  Our sweet, little Colin who is a ball of energy and quite independent brought us some concerns, maybe autistic????  Wow, that word, still brings tears quickly to my eyes and that weekend our life "I thought" was about to change!!!!  I studied hard, read so many things, took quiz after quiz, talked to knowledgeable people, evaluated him up and down, and held on to him like I never had done before.......That Sunday, as I sat in his room just watching him, one thing that I was asked and didn't know the answer to was...."how does he play with a truck, when you give it to him" As his mother, I was embarrassed to say, "you know, I'm not quite sure" b/c up to that point he really wasn't into playing w/ cars, trucks, etc....he loved balls, books, movies, and music (quite different from Ethan and honestly, that was a concern I'd had for quite some time) however, our little angel took that truck and played with it just like he was supposed to and didn't bang it, throw it, or anything of that nature.....he smiled at me and just laughed!!!  As I sat with him, it hit me, it was like he was laughing at me and saying "Mama, I'm just me" and from that moment on, no matter what was ahead of us, I knew that this little boy was given to us for a reason and that reason is to love, enjoy, and let him be the person God wants him to be!!!!  As all the studies show, yes, Colin has a few of the "book" traits if you will, but as I looked back in Ethan's baby book, so didn't he. However, his focus and facial expressions are great, he is talking, and communicating with us, too =)  I learned that weekend that he's not autistic, but a better word that fits him is STUBBORN!!!  He's doing all the things he's supposed to be doing, well, except 2 word phrases....which, Ethan didn't really talk till he was 3, and many other mother's that I talked to, same thing...their child didn't talk till later, either!  So, our little boy, is showing us that in time, he'll do it and he'll do it when he's good & ready, too.......We learned at that moment in our lives that even if the outcome were to be autism....SO WHAT.....didn't mean we would stop loving him, but rather find a new way of life for him to be able to enjoy all the things he could!!!! Now, don't get me wrong, it was music to our ears to be able to have knowledgeable people, and his pediatrician included, say no to the possibility of it.....but, in the end of it all, it truly didn't matter and we learned that weekend, life as we knew it, would still continue on but with a new frame of mind and that would be "our" family is what matters most!!!!  The other stuff, that is out of our hands, doesn't matter and our future is up to us and with God's guidance, we will listen and strive forward.....My husband and I gained a new bond that weekend, as well....even though he was upset, but is always my voice of reason, if you will, and our connection, b/c of these boys God has graciously blessed us with, our life together means so much more.  That weekend all the unknowns has lead us to this point, and now I sit here, watching this movie w/ Colin looking at me w/ his big ol'blue eyes, saying "Mama" and grabbing my hand before he runs off to grab his toys...just melts my heart.  The truth of the matter, every child is different and I feel terrible to even say this, but as his mother, I was guilty of comparing him w/ Ethan's growing stats!!!!  Not anymore though, b/c I've said it before and I'll say it again, Colin is Colin and will do things when it's time for him to do it, or in other words, when he's good in ready!!!  LOL  Our precious, little, blue-eyed boy melts our hearts and no matter what, that will never change =) So, to end this post...trusting in God to show the way, regardless of the hurt that it might cause at that moment, in the end I find this to be true if he brings you to it, he'll bring you through it!!!!  =)

       Hi Mama!!!

proof he knows how to manage a car =)