Not ready for this!!!! LOL

I can't even begin to tell you how "weird" I feel right now!!!  So much has happened within the past 4 days that I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.....It started Monday at Colin's 3 year appointment and the news of needing to get him further tested. I got home that afternoon and started making phone calls to get the ball rolling, so Tuesday morning I was down at the PreK enrolling him.  UGH, I cried like a big ol'baby walking into the school, b/c I know this starts his schooling but yet, he's 3...he's supposed to be able to enjoy the next couple of years w/o it!!!  I was so bummed, but when I got into the school, it felt like a weight was lifted, b/c I came in contact with some pretty neat ladies that helped me with every question I had.  I'm not quite sure what we are faced with yet for Colin, but after that appointment, I truly feel we are doing the best for him.  So, this fall, he'll be in PreK 3 days a week!  Now, while I was there, the lady I was with noticed I had a 5 year old son (from the enrollment form) and that opened up conversation about Ethan.  I went into this thinking Ethan could go to a 5 year PreK, but I came out, knowing I needed to get him enrolled in Kindergarten!  I knew this time was coming, but I truly wasn't ready to send him.  I thought I'd get 1 more year with him to prepare, for more fun, and just to let him adapt a little more.  Well, no!!!  Ethan, is now going and will head there this fall, as well!  WOW, I was so upset about it.....lots of tears were shed!  You know, looking back I keep thinking of the day my life changed giving birth to Ethan and thinking that him going to school was "so far off" and now the time is here...Really???  I know time goes fast, but I truly didn't think this fast, it's like I blinked and his time for school, full-time kindergarten school, is here!!!  Then to think we need to send Colin now too, man the news is really hard to take.  I know we will adapt, figure out our new schedule, and hopefully enjoy the new change in our lives.....BUT, right now, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.  We've got Colin's appointments going for the summer, Ethan's paperwork complete, and started on the school supply list....slowly trying to ease into this!   ☺ 

1-2-3, ready or not......

This past weekend was a pretty busy one for us......we decided since it was supposed to be nice, well, HOT for that matter we needed to take advantage and get some stuff done.  The deck was top priority and I'm happy to say it got done and it looks great!  We are officially ready for summer around here, now!!!  The boys were going to my parents, after church, so Brenton and I could get stuff done w/o being distracted w/ 2 little boys needing attention =)  Before leaving though, Ethan wanted to drive his truck, so we let him and before you we knew it, our neighbor's grandson was walking down the sidewalk ready to take part....Ethan was so excited to take his new friend Austin for a spin, he even let Austin drive =)  Anyway, after getting the boys to Sugarcreek and a few hours of work, I'm happy to say, everything on the to-list got done...the boys have their summer oasis outside w/ a pool, sandbox, table w/ umbrella, and water table!  Summer was never one of my favorite seasons, but now that I have my boys, I'm really enjoying it.  It is so fun to have picnics while splish-splashing in their kiddie pool....Last night, after picking the boys up, we were exhausted and thankfully so were the boys....we didn't make it past 9:30!  I knew I had to be up to get Colin to his 3 year appointment, so I went to bed preparing myself for that!

Ethan & Austin

Summer fun for the boys



our finished deck

Needless to say, one of the milestone events that I truly don't care for....are the yearly doctor visits for my boys!  I hate that they have to have vaccines, but I know it's for the best.....I hate to hear that they are behind, via the medical knowledge of things.....HOWEVER, today was a day that I was actually looking forward in getting "over" with.....The reason is, I needed/wanted to get some answers for Colin!  I've known for quite some time that he is "different" if you will in things.  Has his 'unique' way for doing stuff and I was prepared for what I was told.  I've been pondering this, researching it, and getting comfortable with the thought of it since October of last year.....Anyway, the outcome is getting an RDOS test done for Asperger's Syndrome (AS)!  For those of you not sure, AS is the high-functioning portion of the Austim Spectrum and although I shed a few tears, I know that this part of the spectrum is a good one and he can lead a great life, if he is diagnosed?  I, as his mother, will make sure the avenues that are needed to help him.....will be done!  He's a special, little boy and I (we, his Daddy too) will do what it takes for him.  So, the next few months will be filled w/ testing, speech therapy, hearing tests, possible PreK program, etc!  Whatever it takes for this little angel, will be done.....No matter what, he will always know that he is loved, cared for, and no one will ever (well, in my grasp anyway) make him feel like he can't be who he wants to be!!!! 

Love my new book I got and of course my juice!!!

wait a minute Mama...LOL

CJS!!!

I can't even begin to tell you how much my little guy has changed my life.....I was already in boy mode when we discovered we were pregnant again, and at the very moment of holding the pregnancy test in my hand, I quickly prayed for another little boy ☺......Another boy, to be the best friend Ethan will have for a lifetime! Another boy, so we didn't have to buy all new stuff!  Another boy, so Daddy would be able to have 2 sons to do "boy" things with!  Another boy, so that I could fall in love all over again!  I absolutely, 100% know why God blessed me w/ my handsome, young men and to this day I thank him!  I thought for sure I was meant to have a daughter and even pleaded w/ the ultrasound tech to redo the ultrasound, because I knew for sure there was no turtle peaking at us!!! LOL!!!  However, after that ultrasound day, I fell in love with my son and from that moment it was nothing but "blue" in my life!!!!!  Ethan has been a great big brother, we didn't have any moments of jealousy when Colin came; however, it was our mission to make sure Ethan knew he was still special and we included him in everything!  Colin, melted my heart, and from the moment he came out I knew he was going to be "different"!  I wasn't quite sure how or why, but I felt it in my heart this little guy was going to give me a run for my money and sure enough, he has!!!!  I was so scared this past Fall with him, but thank God for my husband and his ability to calm me, b/c Colin is just a little boy that has truly conquered the meaning of "individuality"!!!!  He truly is his own person and I tell you what, I love him even more for that!!!!  I love his "Colin-ism's" as we call them.....He's so smart, stubborn, and so Brenton and I compiled into 1 person that I totally enjoy watching him.  He's shown me so much about life that I thank God everyday for this little human being he gave us!  My boys are totally different, but yet, the same in some things and I LOVE IT!!!!  I think looking back, I know I was just a concerned parent, but honestly I get so upset with myself for letting me "think" something was wrong, when all he ever wanted to be was himself!  So, out of this whole experience, I know what God was trying to show me and that was/is.....not 1 person is the same as another so let them be and trust God, as he continues, to work in them!  I hear it, I see it, and I'm enjoying the journey I've been blessed with my boys and I'm so glad God gave us Colin, to complete our family!  Through him, I'm seeing life in a whole other light and for that I'm forever grateful!!!!!

Let him sleep, for when he awakes.....he will move mountains!!!

Brothers = Best Buddies Forever

What a Stinker I am!!!

Colin's way of checking on the neighbors!!! LOL

loves his car bed...well, his room in general!!!

this says it all!!!!

Mother's Day weekend!!

What a great weekend......Started out helping Brenton's brother move to their new home in Mt. Vernon, so on our way to/from, we discovered some new canoeing and camping sites we'd like to check out this year.  We've decided that this year we will not be heading to FL in November, so we are going to be able to enjoy our summer w/ a few small trips and our local area.  I'm super excited about it all and really am looking forward to this summer.  So, while we were in Mt. Vernon, Brenton wanted to stop at their Wal-Mart to take a look at my Mother's Day gift he wanted to get and I was so excited.....I've wanted these for quite some time and now, we can go for rides as a family......

perfect Mother's Day gift

On Sunday, was Mother's Day, and my husband had a perfect morning set.  After he got home from working at the CC he started cooking breakfast and had the boys give me cards......What a great morning.....I just loves these 3 to pieces =)

my guys on Mother's Day.....Love them!!!!

my handsome hubby making me breakfast

We spent the afternoon with my mom and had dinner, coffee, gifts, flower planting, etc.....It truly was a great day and I love having time with family!!!  

Grateful!!!!

While so many things are going on around me, some not so good things, I find myself saying, "wow, I'm glad that isn't me"!  My heart breaks for folks that are going through some major, life changing events that were brought their way and for me, seeing these things helps me feel grateful!  Grateful that I, was able to turn my life around after a very low period a few years ago....Grateful for a man who was willing to give a second chance.....Grateful for a God who is able to answer prayers and heal.....Grateful for two healthy, little boys that make me smile everyday.....Grateful for family (both sides) who I love and adore....Grateful for my relationship that is based on trust!  Life certainly isn't easy and at times I get frustrated and or angry at situations, but overall there isn't anything I can complain about!  I pray everyday for friends, family, strangers, etc and I only hope that God can see that I am GRATEFUL for the life he gave me!!!!

Lake Fun!!!

What a wonderful weekend it was......Brenton and I celebrated our 10th anniversary w/ our boys at the lake w/ fishing poles!  Man, it was great and I enjoyed it so much!  It was such a nice day and a perfect way to celebrate our life together.  Before we left, I surprised Brenton w/ a few "homemade" gifts based around a theme of #10.....

Brenton's 10 year themed gifts

his candy gram.....he loved it!!!

When he got home from the Country Club, I had everything ready, and off to the lake we went.  We found the cutest fishing poles for the boys, got a tackle box, night crawlers, food, drinks, etc and we were off.....What a fun day!!!

Finally time for another year at the lake

Ready to fish, while Colin won't get out of the water =)

patience is key in fishing....

he caught his 1st fish

10 years, WOW!!!!

So, this weekend Brenton and I will share our 'official' 10 year anniversary!!!!!  Wow, this is a milestone for us, and yes, it's a combined total of years from both our marriages (would've been 12 years this year)!  We decided, when we remarried, that we would celebrate our years married b/c we wanted to remember our good, bad, and ugly times together.  So, ever since, we've done that!  This year is 10 years and we are so excited.  As for gifts and such, we decided to be frugal and not spend a bunch of money and since I ruined his big surprise for me, I thought I better stick to plan =)  I will post pictures later, don't want him to see them yet =) Anyway, I can't even begin to express how much Brenton means to me, he's absolutely perfect (in my eyes) and I couldn't ask for a better partner, friend, and father for my children!  We've had our fair share of frustration together, so it's certainly not perfect, by any means, but our life together is exactly how I hoped it would be!  It's amazing the feeling, b/c we've been a part of each others lives for 21 years now and we've played every role possible for one another......As children, we loved each other and as time went on, growing up together was fun; however, I can't even begin to explain how it felt the day I fell in love with him as an adult.....now that, was pretty powerful!!!!  Our wedding date was May 6, 2000 and it was picture perfect...everything a little girl dreams her wedding to be.....4 years later, we decided to divorce and that dream shattered!  Not long after that though, my best friend was back in my life and was just that my 'friend' it didn't take long to realize that God had a plan for us and on May 6, 2006 (same day) we remarried in a small ceremony w/ our family present....that day was meaningful and everything about it was perfect! We kept the same wedding rings, but had them blessed to be worn again, b/c we wanted to have the same reminder of everything about our lives and now this ring (mind you I didn't care for the ring...well, I should say this he picked it out and he was afraid to give it to me b/c I didn't pick it out of the ad from Helzberg as a 'favorite', haha) but it's absolutely beautiful and has so much meaning.  For some reason, I never could get rid of it?  Thought about pawning it when we were divorced, but every time I would go to the store to do it, I'd remember this little boy, well he was 20 (haha), shaking...yet, so proud to put it on my finger and that thought would pop back in my head, so I would walk out of the store w/ it in my hand EVERY TIME!!!! LOL....I truly believe that was God talking to me during those few months when I was lost, b/c he knew he was bringing him back into my life =)  So, you can imagine my excitement when I got to put it back on my finger when we were remarried and now a day doesn't go by that it's not on.  People ask what would you feel lost without, most say cell phone, for me it's my wedding ring!!!! I do feel our 2nd marriage was so much more, deeper feelings were involved, all about us, the love we had for each other, and we were 'mature' adults!  I will never forget that day, b/c for the first time I knew that I was exactly where God wanted me to be and for the rest of my life I would have my best friend to share it with! 

I look forward to many more years learning, growing, and sharing our lives together......

Colin's 3

We had so much fun this past week celebrating Colin's 3rd birthday.....the weekend was filled with family birthday parties and we enjoyed it so much!  It's so hard to believe that our baby is 3, but the reality of it, he is (hahaha)!!!!  Colin, has truly given us a new look on life and shown us that slowing down and enjoying it, is so important. He is so busy all of the time and has us on our toes 24/7, but that little guy has truly stolen our hearts =)