Learning to Listen!!!

Pushing a little too hard?  I truly think I am......Colin had a terrible meltdown yesterday at speech therapy and I about lost it.  I felt so bad for that little guy and it broke my heart to see the scared look on his face and say "Mom" when I had to leave the room, that I was in tears heading back to the waiting area.  I knew it was going to be bad and I was right.....His anxiety right now, is hard and to be separated from me in a new place, is bad.  I'm trying to do what everyone keeps telling me and forcing him to do things out of his comfort zone to learn to be away from me, but it's not working and he gets so scared that he loses it.....Anyway, he had enough and by the time Erin got me, he vomited and was a complete mess!  Everyone was staring at me, as I held my son in my arms trying to comfort him was terrible, then to have him throw up all over me standing in the lobby, while I tried to talk w/ his therapist was awful to say the least!   I'm learning that some adults, just don't get it.  I saw a women snicker and roll her eyes to her friend, as if to say, "Get a hold of your son" and it took all I had to not say anything......So, I left there in tears feeling defeated and challenged, just not sure what I'm supposed to do???  I hear from so many people "oh do this, do that" and I'm trying, but I know my son and I can see in his eyes that he is scared, but yet I still do it....What kind of mother am I?  Well, let me just tell you, "NO MORE"!  I'm prepared now to tell people to back off, we've got this and working with him.  We have a home based program going with the Brain Balance center and it's doing great things, so we're continuing with that and will use the facility in about a year and there, they will be able to do whatever it is he needs.  I'm tired of trying to please everyone when I know, in my heart, what is right; however, I still feel the need to listen??? Why????  I keep hearing "Early Intervention, Early Intervention" and it hits me that maybe a little more will do the trick, but honestly, it doesn't.....it's too much and I see it now!  So, last night, Brenton and I made each other a promise and that is to raise our son the best we can, do the things "WE" feel best for him, and not to push too many things.  Colin is coming along and I/we need to just let him grow and adapt to his surroundings, when he is ready.....This morning for example.....I sat his jelly toast on the island, pulled out his chair, patted the seat, and said "you need to sit and eat".  Before I knew it, he climbed up in the chair by himself and said "sit"....OMG did I just hear that? I turned around and said "what did you say" and he said it again, again, and again!!!  My little blessing, is truly that and this mama is taking things in stride and learning to listen to my gut a little better.....I was told once, "You are Colin's voice and when you don't feel something is right, stop it, you know, you're his mother and never underestimate that"!!!!  We are so lucky to have this little guy, because boy are we learning so much about life every single day.....He truly completes our family!!!!

I "SIT" Mommy all by myself =)

our blessings are such buddies