You know, I knew this day was coming, I mean really I signed him up for Preschool; however, it didn't make it any easier last night at the Open House!!! I did prepare myself all day for what was going to happen, but looking back, overall it really wasn't that bad. Yes, he cried and was on overload, but truly there were a lot of people there and as I've mentioned before, Colin has social anxiety, so yes it was an emotional evening. Once he started to cry, I walked out of the room with him (truly, so we both could regain our composure, b/c I lost it too) and when we returned a few minutes later I made him touch the walls, touch the toys, the rug, everything and then I put him down, the tears stopped, but being terrified was still there and it was written all over his face (see pictures below)! This step, for Colin, scares the hell out of me. This means I have to trust people again and I HATE it, because I've been let down too many times in his 4 short years of life! So, God better be prepared for this mama, because all I knew to do is pray! I just want this little guy to succeed and be able to do things that all the other kids can do and I've FINALLY got my feelings in check, tests have been scheduled, and the future will be so much easier....but, long story short, he is 4 and the world around us is moving quicker than I want, so it's time to quit running from reality and get down to the nitty gritty! I guess I just had in my mind that as his mom I could protect him from things, or lets say everything! I had in my mind I could do it and now that I got a glance of reality it hit me, it's not that easy!!! So now, it's in my head to help him and do whatever it takes to make the world around us understand how to do just that, how to work with him, teach him, and communicate with him! =) I talk like it's a terrible thing and honestly, it's not.....we've adapted and know what to do...it's the outside world that SCARES me!!! It's amazing the life he brings here and it's my own fear of letting go & trusting that I had to get in check, so I don't hinder him!!! I will get there and I feel, as a whole, we are in a much better place with life. From what I hear, it'll get easier the older he gets and honestly.....isn't that true about ALL kids?!?!?! So, next Tuesday is the big day for my little guy.....my sister Amanda will be there, because she teaches the older kids, and I know she'll protect him and help him! His teacher and helpers are prepared, so mama needs to relax and realize a few tears will not hurt!!! =)
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| here we go |
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| and there it is ;) |
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| I sure hope Miss Angie is ready...lol |
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| I'm not too sure of this mama.... |
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| warming up...I might just like this place? |
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here is when he said "bye" and "see ya later" and
I knew it was time to leave =) |
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