The older Colin gets, the more social Brenton is wanting him to become. Brenton, is definitely a social butterfly, and finds this a very important part of life. I get it, but I'm definitely not like him by no means. I'm more standoffish and trust very few! However, with Colin being autistic, I know full well how important social environments are to his growth. So, Brenton and I several years back, decided to split things. I would handle the academic side and he would handle the social side! I'm not sure why, but in the beginning of our journey I found myself a sweaty mess anytime I had to take him places. The older he has become, I've come to realize that it's definitely different for Brenton, than it is for me, in these types of things. Colin, as smart as he is, knew my faults and could read me like a book. He had me and I didn't know how to break that! I felt like a terrible mother, because I couldn't get as involved as I wanted to with things for him. I've run the gamut on it all, believe me. I wanted to share the things that most mothers do with their children. However, with Colin, I had to swallow my pride and allow him to grow in this without me and allow Brenton to take the reigns. Yes, that was a hard pill to swallow for a little while, however, I noticed a difference in myself when events and things would need to be attended and it wasn't me doing it. I was becoming a better mother to him, because I wasn't trying to do it all and fit a circle into a square peg, so to speak. Colin, it's been proven, acts differently with me in social settings than he does with his dad. He was not bad or anything, but he would hang on me, would cry and not get involved, or he would run away from me thinking it was a game. Yes, by the end of the event or whatever we were doing, I'd be a sweaty mess! With Brenton though, oh my, he listens, does what he is told, and enjoys the event. That, right there, is exactly why me stepping away was the best thing I could do, because he was enjoying himself and growing in these types of settings. Anyway, a few years in from this decision we made, it's so great to see the difference in Colin and seeing the growth from these experiences...is pretty awesome!
This year, at his IEP meeting, I expressed Brenton's concern about getting him more involved with his typical peers in 4th grade. He feels it is time to spread Colin's wings and challenge not only Colin, but the typical kids. These kids need to see Colin and get to know him more, because they are only getting older and lets be honest....kids like Colin tend to get lost in the shuffle! Well, his daddy (mommy too) is doing all we can to make that not happen! Colin is loved and we see it, but we just feel he needs to get more exposure for the sake of his growth in the "typical" world we live in. He doesn't live in a box, so it's time to break down those walls at school and get him more involved.
Anyway, from the concern Brenton had, that opened up a conversation about getting him involved in a sports setting, as well. He participates in the Soccer-4-All every Saturday in the spring and fall, but we were wanting something different. So, Mrs. Jones, got with her daughters soccer coach (whom is also a teacher Colin has, Mrs. James) and they agreed to allow Colin to be the "Ball Boy" for the team. How awesome is that! Brenton was so excited and so, him and Colin go once a week to practice with the girls and he is learning how to be their ball boy!
Early on, when I felt I could trust no one and would just keep Colin in a bubble to protect him, I prayed for guidance and "good-hearted" people to enter his life and help him. Well, Mrs. Jones, is one of those people whom God placed in his journey. This women goes above and beyond for my child and I/we will forever be grateful for her love and support! ♥
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